Monday, December 12, 2011

Simplify - don't multiply

Remember those days when we have little and we were happy?
Remember those days when we did not have a mobile phone, those days we don't have emails to check anyway so there is no need to keep checking our inbox on the phones or text someone when we actually turn up at their doors to visit?
People stop sending cards, there is online e-cards or emails. People hardly call each other anymore because they can send a message through social medias.
I think you get where I am heading.

Mind you I ask myself those questions and I find myself missing those little personal things we used to do for our friends and family, don't you? Handwritten cards or surprise visits, a long chat over the phone catching up on things you missed...Ironically, we log on facebook or other social medias to get in touch with each other but actually, we are getting more out of touch - physcially and emotionally.

I thought to myself - I need to simplify; get back to the basics.
Don't get me wrong, I love that my smartphone tells me when I have a new email in my inbox and I can chat on my messenger to a friend who is 12,000miles away. I am thankful for the fact that I can do those things while on the go. But I always make it a point to send a handwritten card or a gift (that is related to a person's taste, thank you. Point is some people buys presents because the occasion calls for one, not because they want to get the person a gift. Often they just pick whatever I can find at a price they are happy to pay. And the person on the receiving end, especially someone like myself, KNOWS when it is a social gesture. So even gifts is getting less personal. OMG) to my friends to let them know they are thought of and loved.
But there are parts of life that needs to be away from your gadgets.

When you are home after work, switch the phone off and get talking with your partner is a great start.
I get uber annoyed when I ask my husband how his days was, and it takes him a good 2 minutes before he answers my question; because he was busy checking his Twitter, blogger or facebook. There were occasions I really want to fling a wok over or take his phone and chuck it out of the window. Lucky for him I never set my thoughts in motion or he would have to a new phone every other day!

My observation soon move to things around me. Gadgets that help to make chores easier, I appreciate. Especially the dishwasher. I hate scrubbing pots and pans, especially if I made a thick gravy or fry things up. Of course, the washing machine. I could never wash my laundry by hand. For those two, I am thankful.
I know friends who are glad with their blender or that thing that makes dough; no more mess and less kneading during baking and getting a glass of fruit juice is a breeze. Of course there is the fridge and the can opener...

Moving on - Clothes, Shoes, Bags, Jewellery, Makeup and Accessories.
Now you and I know, there are definitely things we bought ourselves that we hardly use; but need to have it just because. And what got us to accumulate so much?
Remember how our mothers and grandmothers look so pretty and put together in the photos?
They don't have 10 handbags and 50 pairs of shoes and wardrobe in every possible colour.
And I don't remember any story from my elders about their mothers ever complaining of how little things they have got. Back then, it was about bringing up their children, making sure their husbands' needs were taken care of and friends who hang out together; doing baking, knitting over a cup of tea.
We may have 1,001 things now but I feel we severely lack of something we can all do with - quality of life. Why else would we constantly feel the need to buy new things to fill the house? Either you are bored like me, or it's just us lacking real friends or neighbours. How sad is that?

I know some people measure their quality of life with the number of holidays they go for, the brand names that adorn their homes, the car they drive and the post code of their address.
I measure quality of life in terms of happiness, contentment and peace.
These are not feelings that we get from acquiring the new IT bag or the latest mobile phone. Those feelings come from deep in side us, when we are happy with what we have got; no regards to what we have got.

Children does not care whether the cookie they have are from ASDA or from Harrods. Remember how happy we were with a toilet roll and couple of markers, we made pen holders and walkie-talkies; and tire ourselves out chasing each other playing hide and seek. We never felt like we are done injustice because we need the latest toys. In fact, we ask for nothing else but to see our friends in school. I remember how me and my schoolmates come up with games with what we got from where we were; it could have been a playground, a garden or the drain; we always managed to find something to do.

Look at the kids now. Media advertise all sorts of toys and games, and the costs are not at the level many can afford. And kids, because they are not playing outside physically, parents babysit their kids with computer and PS3. I know parents who give their children blackberry phones just so they can call them. Just why would any child be calling their parents or vice versa when the child is in school?
Children compare their mobiles to see who has got the better phones, causing peer pressure issues.
The issues goes on and on and I know you know where it is getting.

Remove all these things now, there are the good useful things that can improve the quality of life; making things easier and more productive that even I have to admit I cannot do without.
THEN, there are things we should be wise with.

Rise above the hype that is surrounding us.
Ask ourselves, when faced with temptation to get something that we don't need or already have; do I need a new one? Do I need this brand name to feel that I am successful?

A wise woman told me, "Happiness and Contentment comes from within, if you can buy those things, they are not real." I find the statement true, and it is stuck in my head all these years. I am none the wiser but I have hers words in me to remind me to come down to ground zero when I get carried away.

There are so many false joy around us; if I get that IT bag I will be the happiest woman on earth and ask for nothing else!" a friend once said to me. She is still pursuing every IT bag that arrives in the shops. Her wealthy husband left and she is scaring many suitors. She is well aware of the gravity of her problem, which is costing her plenty in terms of finances.

Through her I saw my own mistakes with my retail habits, though a mile away from hers; I do have wastage due to bad self image. And that is something I need to work on and which I am doing. I can see myself on a healthy route and it is something I planned to keep at. As for my IT bag-mad friend, she heard all she need to hear from me and her financial advisor; in time I hope she can stop and look at the things she acquired to fill the emptiness in her life and realise that those voids can only be filled by herself. I promised to give her support and would see her through, when she is ready to confront her demons.

As for me, I need to get out more and meet people. I spend much of my waking hours in the house with my 3 furry kids and husband. With my jewellery business about to go on a relaunch in 2012, I want all parts of my life to be in place.

As a footnote, I am going to bring in something my grannie told me when I was a child: If you think you have little, there are people who has even less. If you think you have a lot, there are people who have more. Ultimate bliss comes from the fact that you know you have Enough.

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